Are You Training Them Up?

As the parent of three children I know how exhausting it is to constantly have to be the authority and to stand your ground. It is no joke. We all love the hugs and kisses and being told "you're the best mom in the world." But in order to be a good mom (or dad) you have to set boundaries for your children, put rules in place and enforce them - consistently, day in and day out. If you've never had to do it, it's hard. Plain and simple.

As a biblical health coach, I'm going to focus in on this aspect as it relates to your children's health. I can't begin to tell you how many moms I've spoken to who have children who seem to catch every bug that goes around, or are extremely overweight or suffering with asthma or allergies or have been diagnosed with ADD who just want to know what they can do to help their children become healthier. When asked this by one mom who was extremely concerned about her childrens' weight problems, I suggested that she approach any changes very gradually, one at a time, and once that change was made, start working on the next one. She asked what she should do first and I said without a doubt she had to get her children off diet soda! They drink it all day and even have it with breakfast! I explained that the artificial sweeteners they contain have a profound effect on brain function and health and that they actually increase cravings for sweets and thus cause weight gain rather than encouraging weight loss. The high phosphorous content also breaks down their bones.

She said she just couldn't do that because they would argue with her and complain and she just couldn't deal with that. Hmmm, that's like the mom who wants her child to give up a pacifier but doesn't want to endure a night or two of fussing. You may see a 15 year old falling asleep with a pacifier in their mouth! But at least there was no conflict.

Come on, we're made of stronger stuff than that, aren't we?? We've all heard that nothing worth having comes without some effort and that includes health - ours and that of our children.

We are responsible not only for what we feed our children but also what habits we instill in them. Let's be honest - especially when they are small, they can't go out and buy junk food. If they eat it, it is because we have purchased it and made it available to them. Then when they are old enough to be making their own choices, they'll continue doing whatever we've taught (and modeled for) them. The Bible tells us to train up our children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from that. That's a very sobering truth.

We all want our kids to like us, but there are so many times we have to take the unpopular stand - in the final analysis we are their parent, not their friend - they have plenty of those. It's so much easier to build credibility with your kids in this area if you don't just tell them they can't have soda, but they see that you don't drink it either. If you give them fruit as a snack after dinner and then later on they see you with a spoon and a half gallon of ice cream nestled in your lap - the message is more than mixed!

This is a subject close to my heart. Children in our country today are the most overweight, out of shape and unhealthiest in recent memory. This may be the first generation that does not outlive their parents and that's a crime. We can't let that happen. As parents much of the outcome rests in our hands. We have to make a commitment to the health and wellbeing of our children by taking the hard stand, making the difficult decisions and then standing by them. Consistently. Once they're grown and on their own, the decisions are theirs and they assume full responsibility. But while they're under our authority and control, we are responsible.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather have my 8 year old angry with me for a few days than have my 30 year old suffering from diabetes or heart disease and know I could've done something to change that outcome. Let's make the choice to train them up in the way they should go so they will have long, healthy lives.