Trust God and Your Gut

I was already thirty years old when my first child, Christopher, was born. He was absolutely gorgeous - healthy, lovable, alert. However, as he approached two years old, he grunted and made other sounds, but did not speak. Although he seemed unable to form words clearly, he understood whatever he was told and by watching Sesame Street had actually taught himself to read and write.

When his speech problem persisted, we had him evaluated by a speech therapist, who said Christopher had such a complex problem, her best estimate was that it would take at least three therapy sessions per week for several years just to bring him to a point where he could be understood. This was startling, but we were willing to do whatever was necessary to help him.

We began the therapy sessions and almost immediately the therapist had to cut his sessions down to once a week because of a scheduling problem on her part. She indicated that this might mean it would take much longer to get results.

Christopher, an active three year old, quickly became bored and fidgety during his hour-long appointments. To help him get through it, I began praying with him in the car just before going into each session. He and I would ask the Lord to help him listen and pay attention and do whatever the therapist asked. Then I would confirm the Word of God over him by saying things like: Christopher is obedient; Christopher has a spirit of self-control; Christopher can do all things through Christ Who strengthens him.

From the very first time we prayed together in this way, the therapist began seeing a positive difference. We were encouraged until another doctor who had observed Christopher called me in for a meeting. He told me he felt my son had a severe neurological problem. He said he recommended five days of intensive evaluation and testing for a proper diagnosis. Needless to say, I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. The doctor pressed me to make a quick decision, saying he should begin the evaluation process as soon as possible.

I knew that we needed time to take this matter before the Lord, so I managed to delay making a decision until I could speak to my husband. We set ourselves to lay the entire matter before God in prayer the week before Christopher's next session. In my heart I felt my son was extremely bright, that there was no neurological problem, but I wasn't willing to let my love and pride jeopardize his future by not getting him help he might truly need. I had to trust the Lord to show me what was right.

As we went to prayer for Christopher's speech problem, immediately the Lord spoke a scripture promise from Isaiah 40:11: "He will feed His flock like a shepherd, He will gather the lambs in His arms, He will carry them in His bosom and will gently lead those that have their young." From that moment on, I felt complete peace and confidence that God was in charge.

However, everytime I thought or prayed about those tests, I had a total absence of peace. Finally, relying on the command in Colossians 3:15 which says we're to let His peace act as umpire to decide and settle with finality all decisions, my husband and I decided not to subject Christopher to the tests at this time, but to just continue with his speech therapy. That doctor was very angry with our decision. In fact, he actually told me I was a terrible mother for not doing what he was recommending and he never spoke to me again.

Two months later, when Christopher was in the eleventh month of his speech therapy, his therapist declared him age-appropriate and recommended that he cease therapy and enter nursery school! After less than a year of her original "several years" estimate and only having one session per week instead of the three she'd originally deemed necessary, Christopher's speech was age-appropriate. Truly our prayers had been answered.

This all occurred 21 years ago. Christopher went all through elementary school in the "gifted and talented programs." He went through junior and senior high school on the high honor roll every single year. A year and a half ago he graduated summa cum laude from Seton Hall University as a communication major!!! He's actually done several news casts on our local television station as part of an internship. That, to me, is a lovely irony. In fact, I wish I remembered the name of that doctor so I could show him all my Christopher has accomplished. Every time I look at him, I am reminded of the Lord's faithfulness, how gently He carries our children and how much He longs to lead us parents in these difficult choices concerning our children. I shudder to think what the outcome might have been had we not listened to God and our hearts. It's so easy to allow yourself to be bullied by a "professional" who supposedly knows more than you. However, in this case, I knew my son was more than just a "severe speech problem" - he was a wonderful, curious, intelligent, loving little boy.

If you are facing a difficult decision regarding one of your children today and are feeling pressured to make a choice you are not comfortable with, I encourage and even urge you to take the time to ask God what to do. If you ask sincerely and get quiet and listen, He will definitely lead you on the very best path. Always, always listen to your gut and let peace be the deciding factor.