Speaking the Truth

We are told to speak the truth in love to each other (Ephesians 4:15). But where do you draw the line between being honest with someone and just sympathizing with them to make them feel better? While I try always to be mindful of not offending anyone or being harsh or hurtful, this is a difficult thing for me.

If you are like me and always want to leave people feeling better than when they met you, this can sometimes be a very difficult choice to make. Would it really matter? So what if you just "yes" them - agree and sympathize? How could it hurt anything? Besides you come off as the good guy - they get stroked and you look like a saint.

If you really care about the person - it's simply not an option. As parents, we are called on to do it continually. You probably have no problem whatsoever telling your child they cannot play in the street or pretend to cook with a real knife; or telling your teen they must be home by 9 pm or cannot go to a particular place because it is not safe. Pretty simple, straightforward and clear cut. So why is it so difficult to tell a friend a truth about something?

Well, part of it, I think is not wanting to hurt someone who is already hurting, but part is selfish - you don't want them to dislike you. Come on, admit it - you want to be liked. Period. We all do. But when you remove that desire from the equation and focus solely on the "truth" of the issue being discussed, it becomes a little easier.

I recently had to make this decision during a conversation with a friend who is experiencing serious family issues as well as health problems. She calls fairly often to tell me what's been happening. I realized that these calls were not only emotionally draining to me but nothing was changing. I was hearing the same story - just a different day - for years! I realized this command to speak the truth in love was one I was not obeying. I finally had to say that these calls simply rehashing and complaining about the situation were accomplishing nothing. She had repeatedly asked for suggestions on making some decisions and I shared what I thought. But she never did anything - except complain and sink deeper into the role of victim.

It was a painful conversation. I had to be honest and say what I felt she needed to hear. I apologized if I hurt her feelings but I couldn't have this same conversation myriad times for another ten years. Nothing will change unless someone takes a step. I pray fervently for her but she has not called since that last conversation. Perhaps she has found someone else to provide the sympathy she craves. Honestly I hope she really takes to heart what I said and is trying to make some progress. Regardless, I feel better that I didn't just tell her what she wanted to hear and leave her in the same condition.

This is definitely a basic - truth. We can't deal with any situation unless we get to the truth of the matter and deal with it. Nothing will change. Sometimes we have to be the agent of change in someone else's life. Be courageous - speak the truth, in love, and trust God to do the rest.

It's the Truth

A fact is anything that has actually happened; the state of things as they are. The truth is the real or true state of things. That may seem like a very subtle difference to you, but actually it is the difference between night and day. Jesus tells us in John 8:32 that we will "know the truth and the truth will set us free. "

That word "truth" is there for a reason. I've heard Bible teachers say that truth supercedes fact. This became crystal clear to me recently. Several months ago when gas prices were going crazy, we were paying over $4.50 per gallon here in upstate NY for regular. One of the ministries I partner with asked everyone to join with them in commanding those prices to come down to $2.00 per gallon. She explained that we have authority in Jesus' name to do so and of course, there is power in agreement.

The facts were very clear - gas was $4.50 per gallon. It looked pretty unlikely that those prices would drop any time soon. The truth is that according to God's Word we can have whatsoever we say (Mark 11:23, 24); whatever we bind on earth is bound in heaven (Matthew 18:18); all things belong to us (1 Corinthians 3:21); and according to Luke 11:9 we are to ask, seek and knock. So in an attitude of faith, every time I filled my tank, I stood there and commanded those gas prices to drop to $2 a gallon in Jesus' Name. (I'm sure there are a few people in this area who think that woman with the dark blue van is a little off - talking to the gas pumps - but, oh well!)

I had truth on my side regardless of the facts. Interestingly enough, the first few weeks after we began doing this, the prices actually went up! We stood firm because we had truth on our sides.

I filled my van up this week and the price for regular was actually $1.83! It seemed crazy and illogical for a group of believers who don't even know each other to join together in faith and command gas prices to drop. That is the power of faith, prayer and the Word of God.

It is also a matter of truth superceding facts. The fact may be that you are sick today, but the truth remains - by His stripes you were healed.

The fact may be that you are struggling financially, but the truth remains that He became poor that you might be rich and His greatest wish is for you to prosper.

Once you stop and analyze what the facts of any situation are, the next step is to seek the truth of it. Once you know the truth, it sets you free...

free from fear, worry, sickness, poverty, doubt.

That's the truth.