I have a question for you - how are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions? By now, most people have totally given up on them. I've seen all the suggestions to set goals instead of making resolutions - make them specific - measurable - give them a time frame. Truthfully, while setting goals is definitely important and something I do, I don't think that's the answer in this case.
I think, with both resolutions and goals, we get excited and set these huge, extravagant goals. You know - lose 50 lbs by March, start a new business, begin making an extra $5,000 a month, find my soulmate. While I believe we should "think big" and set goals that stretch us - we forget that no one takes one big step and reaches their goal. The road to fulfilling any goal - whether it's improving health, finances or relationships - is paved with a series of well-thought-out, concrete, smaller steps.
I like to call them "baby steps." Not one of us begins to teach our child to walk and gets impatient and disgusted if they take one or two teetering little steps and then fall. No, we celebrate and cheer them on and when they take three little, tiny steps the next time - we are thrilled that they made progress! Why are we so hard on ourselves?
The Bible tells us in Zechariah 4:10 we are "not to despise the day of small beginnings." That's really good advice. In order to achieve any goal or fulfill any resolution, we have to schedule a series of baby steps. But that's just the beginning. Then we are to celebrate each time we make progress - no matter how small. This creates momentum. I heard one teacher describe momentum as "moving in your moment." I like that!
Every day we have 1,440 minutes to use. We all have the same amount of time. Each one of those minutes is yours to move in. You can move forward, backward or stand still. The choice is yours. To my way of thinking, even moving a half-step forward toward the fulfillment of your goal is preferable to either of the other two alternatives!
So, instead of punishing yourself for not making more progress - congratulate yourself on the forward movement you have made in your particular moment. Don't despise them if they are small. Instead of focusing so much on the size, focus on the direction.
Go back to your New Year's Resolutions or goals - it's not too late - really, it's almost never too late! Break them down into baby steps and see how much progress you have already made! Let me know so I can celebrate with you. This is your year to move in your moment!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
In the Mood for Food!
I was reading through some teaching notes I'd taken while listening to a bible teacher on TBN years ago named Aiko Hormann. She was a lovely Asian woman who at the time was in her 60's. However, she didn't look a day over 40. She had such a peace and serenity about her. She was a scientist and I took copious notes on her teaching on the connection of our emotions to our physical health, which I found fascinating.
How many times do we sit down to a meal when we've just had an argument or feel angry or stressed? We don't think twice about sitting down in that emotional state and eating. Some of us use food in that instance as a comforter. But those emotions are very powerful and they powerfully affect our digestion and our health. I want to share some of the examples she taught about because they illustrate the need to be aware of our emotions and take control over them.
She explained it is critical to know what state of mind you are in while you eat. When you are angry, stressed or fearful, those emotions cause biochemical changes in your body. Different hormones and chemicals are released into your bloodstream. Those negative emotions stimulate the part of the brain called the amygdala. In fact if you were to be hooked up to a diagnostic machine, that part of your brain would actually be lit up on the screen because those emotions had activated it. The amygdala is directly connected to the stomach. Therefore, any emotion that affects that part of your brain, also affects your digestion.
It certainly makes sense - think how you feel when you are upset and sit down and eat anyway. It feels like you swallowed a rock! Another interesting thing she shared was that when you generate a toxic emotional response by activating your amygdala through fear, anger or anxiety, those chemicals remain in your bloodstream for 72 hours - 3 days - unless you neutralize them.
No wonder God's Word in Proverbs 17:1 tells us: Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. The Message Translation says it this way: A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels. She said a blood sample from an angry person was injected into a guinea pig and it died. She also related a woman who was breastfeeding her child became extremely furious with her husband and breastfed her baby in that emotional state and the baby died. Now, I cannot verify that those examples are literally true, although that is the way she presented them.
A study was done with smokers and non-smokers. Both groups ate the same number of eggs. Cholesterol levels rose rapidly in the smokers because smoking stresses the body and stress will cause cholesterol to rise rapidly regardless of the amount or type of food eaten.
So what to do when you find yourself upset and you just want to sit down and stuff your face? Her suggestion makes sense to me. She related that when people purposely changed their thoughts from anger, fear or anxiety to God's love and goodness, the change in their brain chemistry could be recorded. The amygdala, which had been activated by the negative emotions was switched off. Now the ceptum, which is directly connected to the physical heart, was immediately lit up and began dissipating those emotional toxins. Not only does it neutralize the effects of negative emotions on your digestion, it promotes a healthy heart as well.
It may not be easy to switch off those negative emotions in the moment - but with practice I'm sure it gets easier and easier, just like anything else. The point is to be aware and in control of our emotions instead of the other way around.
How many times do we sit down to a meal when we've just had an argument or feel angry or stressed? We don't think twice about sitting down in that emotional state and eating. Some of us use food in that instance as a comforter. But those emotions are very powerful and they powerfully affect our digestion and our health. I want to share some of the examples she taught about because they illustrate the need to be aware of our emotions and take control over them.
She explained it is critical to know what state of mind you are in while you eat. When you are angry, stressed or fearful, those emotions cause biochemical changes in your body. Different hormones and chemicals are released into your bloodstream. Those negative emotions stimulate the part of the brain called the amygdala. In fact if you were to be hooked up to a diagnostic machine, that part of your brain would actually be lit up on the screen because those emotions had activated it. The amygdala is directly connected to the stomach. Therefore, any emotion that affects that part of your brain, also affects your digestion.
It certainly makes sense - think how you feel when you are upset and sit down and eat anyway. It feels like you swallowed a rock! Another interesting thing she shared was that when you generate a toxic emotional response by activating your amygdala through fear, anger or anxiety, those chemicals remain in your bloodstream for 72 hours - 3 days - unless you neutralize them.
No wonder God's Word in Proverbs 17:1 tells us: Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. The Message Translation says it this way: A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels. She said a blood sample from an angry person was injected into a guinea pig and it died. She also related a woman who was breastfeeding her child became extremely furious with her husband and breastfed her baby in that emotional state and the baby died. Now, I cannot verify that those examples are literally true, although that is the way she presented them.
A study was done with smokers and non-smokers. Both groups ate the same number of eggs. Cholesterol levels rose rapidly in the smokers because smoking stresses the body and stress will cause cholesterol to rise rapidly regardless of the amount or type of food eaten.
So what to do when you find yourself upset and you just want to sit down and stuff your face? Her suggestion makes sense to me. She related that when people purposely changed their thoughts from anger, fear or anxiety to God's love and goodness, the change in their brain chemistry could be recorded. The amygdala, which had been activated by the negative emotions was switched off. Now the ceptum, which is directly connected to the physical heart, was immediately lit up and began dissipating those emotional toxins. Not only does it neutralize the effects of negative emotions on your digestion, it promotes a healthy heart as well.
It may not be easy to switch off those negative emotions in the moment - but with practice I'm sure it gets easier and easier, just like anything else. The point is to be aware and in control of our emotions instead of the other way around.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Let the Strong Say...
A conversation with a very dear friend last week has had me thinking about a scripture and about strong, Christian women. My friend shared that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will have surgery within a few weeks. She shared how she became aware of a problem just before the holidays but did research and did not want to deal with it until after the new year. At that time she very sensitively and carefully broke the news to her husband, saying that she'd had weeks to get used to the idea, but it was now coming at him out of the blue. She busied herself preparing and freezing meals so he would have them ready while she was in the hospital and recovering and paying the bills and getting all the finances up-to-date since she handles all that.
She, of course, has involved him in every decision and at every step of this journey she finds herself on. She lost her father last March so she and her husband went to tell her mom. She shared how she also personally spoke to her two sisters and each of her nieces and nephews because she wanted them to see she was ok and not to be frightened or to worry. She had originally emailed me with this news, but once we'd "spoken" on line, she called because she also wanted me to hear her voice and know she was handling this as she handled every crisis in her life - with strength, grace, courage and humor.
While I was relieved to hear her voice, I couldn't stop thinking about how she has gone out of her way to make sure she put everyone she cares about at ease, comforting and encouraging them. I can really relate to this as I find myself falling into that very same pattern - I am strong and I have to care for everyone else. Even when it is I who may need some comfort and encouragement.
Joel 3:10 says, "Let the weak say I am strong!" The Message Translation says it this way: "Let the weak one throw out his chest and say, 'I'm tough, I'm a fighter.'" I'm beginning to wonder if some of us strong Christian women have perhaps taken this scripture to an extreme. I've been through a few crises in my life (haven't we all?) and I honestly can remember very few times when I was the one being protected and comforted. Perhaps it's been so long since that happened - I don't even know how to respond to that anymore.
I do remember one turning point conversation. We had just moved to NY from Tennessee with two small children so my husband could start a business with my brother. We were living with my Dad and brother in the house I grew up in. It was difficult living there when my mom was now gone. I was having a down day and one of my aunts called. In the course of our conversation I shared something I was upset about. Her response to me was, "Where is your faith?" I immediately knew at that very moment that I was expected to always be positive and in control, regardless of how I felt. That was a turning point moment for me.
That happened 20 years ago and even now most of the time when friends call it is to share their problems, ask for prayer, advice, comfort or encouragement. I find myself feeling the only one I can truly share my fears, doubts and concerns with is the Lord. Everyone else seems to think I should not feel that way, that somehow I'm "past" that.
As I pondered all this it made me wonder if my friend ever gets weary of always being the strong one, the one in control, the one encouraging and comforting everyone else while she may be crumbling inside. Don't get me wrong, through the death of my mom and my grandmother, losing two babies, closing our business and wondering what we would do next and various other crises of life, the Lord has been more than faithful and never failed to strengthen me and to bring us through.
I honestly don't know what I'd do if I did not have a real and intimate relationship with the Lover of my Soul. However, I have to admit to a purely human desire sometimes. I don't always want to be the take-charge one, the one who says to everyone else falling apart around me - don't worry, it will be fine, God is still on the Throne and He will see us through. While I will always know that in my deepest heart and believe it without question, just once in a while I would love for someone else to say that to me.
I don't really know if that's selfish or not - but I do know it's honest. I find it difficult to take any other part than this because I've been doing it for so long. The few times recently when I've admitted to being unsure about something or concerned about an outcome, the response has been genuine surprise that I could feel that way.
So - to get back to basics I guess I am saying (to you and to myself!) that we are after all just human. Regardless of how deep and strong our faith is, there will be times when we feel weak. That's just a fact of being human. I think maybe sometimes it is healthy and necessary for the strong to sometimes say, I am weak.
She, of course, has involved him in every decision and at every step of this journey she finds herself on. She lost her father last March so she and her husband went to tell her mom. She shared how she also personally spoke to her two sisters and each of her nieces and nephews because she wanted them to see she was ok and not to be frightened or to worry. She had originally emailed me with this news, but once we'd "spoken" on line, she called because she also wanted me to hear her voice and know she was handling this as she handled every crisis in her life - with strength, grace, courage and humor.
While I was relieved to hear her voice, I couldn't stop thinking about how she has gone out of her way to make sure she put everyone she cares about at ease, comforting and encouraging them. I can really relate to this as I find myself falling into that very same pattern - I am strong and I have to care for everyone else. Even when it is I who may need some comfort and encouragement.
Joel 3:10 says, "Let the weak say I am strong!" The Message Translation says it this way: "Let the weak one throw out his chest and say, 'I'm tough, I'm a fighter.'" I'm beginning to wonder if some of us strong Christian women have perhaps taken this scripture to an extreme. I've been through a few crises in my life (haven't we all?) and I honestly can remember very few times when I was the one being protected and comforted. Perhaps it's been so long since that happened - I don't even know how to respond to that anymore.
I do remember one turning point conversation. We had just moved to NY from Tennessee with two small children so my husband could start a business with my brother. We were living with my Dad and brother in the house I grew up in. It was difficult living there when my mom was now gone. I was having a down day and one of my aunts called. In the course of our conversation I shared something I was upset about. Her response to me was, "Where is your faith?" I immediately knew at that very moment that I was expected to always be positive and in control, regardless of how I felt. That was a turning point moment for me.
That happened 20 years ago and even now most of the time when friends call it is to share their problems, ask for prayer, advice, comfort or encouragement. I find myself feeling the only one I can truly share my fears, doubts and concerns with is the Lord. Everyone else seems to think I should not feel that way, that somehow I'm "past" that.
As I pondered all this it made me wonder if my friend ever gets weary of always being the strong one, the one in control, the one encouraging and comforting everyone else while she may be crumbling inside. Don't get me wrong, through the death of my mom and my grandmother, losing two babies, closing our business and wondering what we would do next and various other crises of life, the Lord has been more than faithful and never failed to strengthen me and to bring us through.
I honestly don't know what I'd do if I did not have a real and intimate relationship with the Lover of my Soul. However, I have to admit to a purely human desire sometimes. I don't always want to be the take-charge one, the one who says to everyone else falling apart around me - don't worry, it will be fine, God is still on the Throne and He will see us through. While I will always know that in my deepest heart and believe it without question, just once in a while I would love for someone else to say that to me.
I don't really know if that's selfish or not - but I do know it's honest. I find it difficult to take any other part than this because I've been doing it for so long. The few times recently when I've admitted to being unsure about something or concerned about an outcome, the response has been genuine surprise that I could feel that way.
So - to get back to basics I guess I am saying (to you and to myself!) that we are after all just human. Regardless of how deep and strong our faith is, there will be times when we feel weak. That's just a fact of being human. I think maybe sometimes it is healthy and necessary for the strong to sometimes say, I am weak.
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