Move in Your Moment!

I have a question for you - how are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions? By now, most people have totally given up on them. I've seen all the suggestions to set goals instead of making resolutions - make them specific - measurable - give them a time frame. Truthfully, while setting goals is definitely important and something I do, I don't think that's the answer in this case.

I think, with both resolutions and goals, we get excited and set these huge, extravagant goals. You know - lose 50 lbs by March, start a new business, begin making an extra $5,000 a month, find my soulmate. While I believe we should "think big" and set goals that stretch us - we forget that no one takes one big step and reaches their goal. The road to fulfilling any goal - whether it's improving health, finances or relationships - is paved with a series of well-thought-out, concrete, smaller steps.

I like to call them "baby steps." Not one of us begins to teach our child to walk and gets impatient and disgusted if they take one or two teetering little steps and then fall. No, we celebrate and cheer them on and when they take three little, tiny steps the next time - we are thrilled that they made progress! Why are we so hard on ourselves?

The Bible tells us in Zechariah 4:10 we are "not to despise the day of small beginnings." That's really good advice. In order to achieve any goal or fulfill any resolution, we have to schedule a series of baby steps. But that's just the beginning. Then we are to celebrate each time we make progress - no matter how small. This creates momentum. I heard one teacher describe momentum as "moving in your moment." I like that!

Every day we have 1,440 minutes to use. We all have the same amount of time. Each one of those minutes is yours to move in. You can move forward, backward or stand still. The choice is yours. To my way of thinking, even moving a half-step forward toward the fulfillment of your goal is preferable to either of the other two alternatives!

So, instead of punishing yourself for not making more progress - congratulate yourself on the forward movement you have made in your particular moment. Don't despise them if they are small. Instead of focusing so much on the size, focus on the direction.

Go back to your New Year's Resolutions or goals - it's not too late - really, it's almost never too late! Break them down into baby steps and see how much progress you have already made! Let me know so I can celebrate with you. This is your year to move in your moment!

In the Mood for Food!

I was reading through some teaching notes I'd taken while listening to a bible teacher on TBN years ago named Aiko Hormann. She was a lovely Asian woman who at the time was in her 60's. However, she didn't look a day over 40. She had such a peace and serenity about her. She was a scientist and I took copious notes on her teaching on the connection of our emotions to our physical health, which I found fascinating.

How many times do we sit down to a meal when we've just had an argument or feel angry or stressed? We don't think twice about sitting down in that emotional state and eating. Some of us use food in that instance as a comforter. But those emotions are very powerful and they powerfully affect our digestion and our health. I want to share some of the examples she taught about because they illustrate the need to be aware of our emotions and take control over them.

She explained it is critical to know what state of mind you are in while you eat. When you are angry, stressed or fearful, those emotions cause biochemical changes in your body. Different hormones and chemicals are released into your bloodstream. Those negative emotions stimulate the part of the brain called the amygdala. In fact if you were to be hooked up to a diagnostic machine, that part of your brain would actually be lit up on the screen because those emotions had activated it. The amygdala is directly connected to the stomach. Therefore, any emotion that affects that part of your brain, also affects your digestion.

It certainly makes sense - think how you feel when you are upset and sit down and eat anyway. It feels like you swallowed a rock! Another interesting thing she shared was that when you generate a toxic emotional response by activating your amygdala through fear, anger or anxiety, those chemicals remain in your bloodstream for 72 hours - 3 days - unless you neutralize them.

No wonder God's Word in Proverbs 17:1 tells us: Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. The Message Translation says it this way: A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels. She said a blood sample from an angry person was injected into a guinea pig and it died. She also related a woman who was breastfeeding her child became extremely furious with her husband and breastfed her baby in that emotional state and the baby died. Now, I cannot verify that those examples are literally true, although that is the way she presented them.

A study was done with smokers and non-smokers. Both groups ate the same number of eggs. Cholesterol levels rose rapidly in the smokers because smoking stresses the body and stress will cause cholesterol to rise rapidly regardless of the amount or type of food eaten.

So what to do when you find yourself upset and you just want to sit down and stuff your face? Her suggestion makes sense to me. She related that when people purposely changed their thoughts from anger, fear or anxiety to God's love and goodness, the change in their brain chemistry could be recorded. The amygdala, which had been activated by the negative emotions was switched off. Now the ceptum, which is directly connected to the physical heart, was immediately lit up and began dissipating those emotional toxins. Not only does it neutralize the effects of negative emotions on your digestion, it promotes a healthy heart as well.

It may not be easy to switch off those negative emotions in the moment - but with practice I'm sure it gets easier and easier, just like anything else. The point is to be aware and in control of our emotions instead of the other way around.

Let the Strong Say...

A conversation with a very dear friend last week has had me thinking about a scripture and about strong, Christian women. My friend shared that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will have surgery within a few weeks. She shared how she became aware of a problem just before the holidays but did research and did not want to deal with it until after the new year. At that time she very sensitively and carefully broke the news to her husband, saying that she'd had weeks to get used to the idea, but it was now coming at him out of the blue. She busied herself preparing and freezing meals so he would have them ready while she was in the hospital and recovering and paying the bills and getting all the finances up-to-date since she handles all that.

She, of course, has involved him in every decision and at every step of this journey she finds herself on. She lost her father last March so she and her husband went to tell her mom. She shared how she also personally spoke to her two sisters and each of her nieces and nephews because she wanted them to see she was ok and not to be frightened or to worry. She had originally emailed me with this news, but once we'd "spoken" on line, she called because she also wanted me to hear her voice and know she was handling this as she handled every crisis in her life - with strength, grace, courage and humor.

While I was relieved to hear her voice, I couldn't stop thinking about how she has gone out of her way to make sure she put everyone she cares about at ease, comforting and encouraging them. I can really relate to this as I find myself falling into that very same pattern - I am strong and I have to care for everyone else. Even when it is I who may need some comfort and encouragement.

Joel 3:10 says, "Let the weak say I am strong!" The Message Translation says it this way: "Let the weak one throw out his chest and say, 'I'm tough, I'm a fighter.'" I'm beginning to wonder if some of us strong Christian women have perhaps taken this scripture to an extreme. I've been through a few crises in my life (haven't we all?) and I honestly can remember very few times when I was the one being protected and comforted. Perhaps it's been so long since that happened - I don't even know how to respond to that anymore.

I do remember one turning point conversation. We had just moved to NY from Tennessee with two small children so my husband could start a business with my brother. We were living with my Dad and brother in the house I grew up in. It was difficult living there when my mom was now gone. I was having a down day and one of my aunts called. In the course of our conversation I shared something I was upset about. Her response to me was, "Where is your faith?" I immediately knew at that very moment that I was expected to always be positive and in control, regardless of how I felt. That was a turning point moment for me.

That happened 20 years ago and even now most of the time when friends call it is to share their problems, ask for prayer, advice, comfort or encouragement. I find myself feeling the only one I can truly share my fears, doubts and concerns with is the Lord. Everyone else seems to think I should not feel that way, that somehow I'm "past" that.

As I pondered all this it made me wonder if my friend ever gets weary of always being the strong one, the one in control, the one encouraging and comforting everyone else while she may be crumbling inside. Don't get me wrong, through the death of my mom and my grandmother, losing two babies, closing our business and wondering what we would do next and various other crises of life, the Lord has been more than faithful and never failed to strengthen me and to bring us through.

I honestly don't know what I'd do if I did not have a real and intimate relationship with the Lover of my Soul. However, I have to admit to a purely human desire sometimes. I don't always want to be the take-charge one, the one who says to everyone else falling apart around me - don't worry, it will be fine, God is still on the Throne and He will see us through. While I will always know that in my deepest heart and believe it without question, just once in a while I would love for someone else to say that to me.

I don't really know if that's selfish or not - but I do know it's honest. I find it difficult to take any other part than this because I've been doing it for so long. The few times recently when I've admitted to being unsure about something or concerned about an outcome, the response has been genuine surprise that I could feel that way.

So - to get back to basics I guess I am saying (to you and to myself!) that we are after all just human. Regardless of how deep and strong our faith is, there will be times when we feel weak. That's just a fact of being human. I think maybe sometimes it is healthy and necessary for the strong to sometimes say, I am weak.

Satisfied with Good

I was thinking about how radically my diet has changed over the years. Growing up TV dinners were the new thing and Twinkies and Hostess Cupcakes were standard lunch bag fare. My adorable little Greek grandmother would treat my brother and me with a breakfast of "paporakia" which is the Greek word for little boats. She'd make her cup of coffee with 2 or 3 teaspoons of sugar and lots of heavy cream. Then she would cut the "little boats" from crusty Italian bread, slather them with butter and float them on her coffee before giving this treat to us. Mmmm - I can almost taste them! Sometimes I'm amazed I'm still here and do not doubt for a moment it is only by God's grace.

When I was in my 20's besides going out with the girls several times a week, every Saturday my brother and I (and later my husband completed the trio) would buy a half gallon of ice cream - each - usually Baskin Robbins - Amaretto Cheesecake was my favorite - and gorge ourselves.

As time has passed and I got pregnant and realized the importance of my diet, if for no other reason than to provide the proper nourishment for my babies, I began to gradually improve my diet. Keep in mind that while I never smoked or did drugs and actually took vitamins daily, my understanding of nutrition was woefully lacking.

But God is gracious and as I educated myself, first in order to raise healthy children, and then of course to keep myself and my husband healthy and energetic enough to keep up with those healthy children, I began to look at food differently. I have always been what you might refer to as a "foodie." I love food - love to cook it, bake it, plan meals and serve it. Just love it period. I began to see it as fuel.

My nutritional metamorphosis took me to the carb craze. There was a period of time (in the '80's) when meat, protein and fat were the enemy and pasta and grains and vegetables were king. I was able to eat primarily pasta (and not the whole grain kind either) and vegetables and maintain a healthy weight and stay remarkably healthy. I have always preferred those foods and really didn't much enjoy chicken or burgers or meat. When presented with the choice, I would always choose the pasta dish.

Around the time I turned 40 I noticed that even though I still worked out just as hard, and didn't eat any more, I began putting weight on. Increasing my workout schedule didn't help. I figured it had something to do with hormones and entering the perimenopause phase of life. By this time I had been seriously studying nutrition and natural health and supplements for many years. I realized I had to begin to increase my intake of protein and limit the carbs if I wanted to remain strong, fit and healthy.

Well, I really thought having eggs and lean meat, poultry or fish at every meal was going to be a monumental task. To my great surprise, it was just the opposite! I never realized how delicious eggs were and now prefer them to cereal or a bagel with peanut butter (my old favorite breakfast). I thoroughly enjoy baked chicken and turkey thighs, sardines and wild caught salmon. I can't believe I didn't think I liked those things. Actually I didn't like them. However, by God's grace, He gradually changed my thinking and gave me the desire for these things. I look forward to my meals and enjoy them as much or more than my old way of eating.

I pray Psalm 103:5 this way in thanksgiving to God for not only always knowing best, but also knowing how to get me to see it as well:
Thank You Lord that You satisfy my mouth with good things, not only my necessary food, but the kind of food I desire at my personal age, so my youth is renewed with strength like the eagle's - overcoming and soaring!

And He has - and He can for you too - if you allow Him to.

He Who Hesitates is Lost

I just read an article reporting that Lyme Disease has become epidemic in our country. While it is found in all 50 states and has even been reported in Europe, most diagnoses are made in the Northeast/New England states.

It has become the fastest growing infectious disease in the United States, infecting more people each year than HIV/AIDS. If Lyme Disease is not caught and treated while in the very earliest stages, it is a devastating disease. It not only causes serious physical damage, but causes mental and emotional anguish as well.

Lyme is not easy to diagnose and many people are misdiagnosed so long that by the time they are properly diagnosed, it is too late. The disease progresses to an advanced stage and can then only be managed as it has already begun causing irreparable damage.

I had a personal experience with this disease several years ago. My dad is an avid golfer. At this time he was in his late 70's and quite active and healthy. My youngest son was graduating from high school. We all slid into the bleachers at the football field on a sweltering late June morning. My dad had a hat on and there were buckets of cold, bottled water being circulated, so he stayed hydrated. Once the ceremony was over he went to one of the enclosures to get out of the sun and heat.

Feeling fine, we all went to my home to begin the graduation celebration. I had trays upon trays of food and guests dropped in continuously for the next five or six hours. My dad ate well and enjoyed the conversation and company. When I called him several days later he said he wasn't feeling very well and thought it was something he ate at the party. Concerned, I asked what his symptoms were. They were bizarre to say the least.

He felt weak during the night and actually had trouble getting out of bed quickly enough to get to the bathroom. Then later in the morning he wanted to go out to buy a paper as he usually did. He told me he "couldn't remember how to get in the car." When pressed to explain more fully, he said it took him about 15 minutes to remember how to get himself into the front seat behind the wheel. Then, once he did, he drove to the deli to get his paper and had the same problem returning home.

That really frightened me because it was obviously more than a stomach bug - it was affecting him mentally. He went to his doctor but because he did not explain his symptoms clearly to the doctor (and the doctor did not ask the right questions - see the previous post!), he diagnosed him with a bladder infection and put him on an antibiotic that caused severe side-effects and of course did not do anything about the cause of the problem.

As God would have it, he had an appointment several days later with his dermatologist to check on a past skin cancer. When the doctor began examining him he noticed the tell-tale bullseye rash on the back of his thigh! My dad, of course, never saw it and when he was with me he had long pants on, not shorts, as he did when he went golfing.

That doctor immediately prescribed the correct antibiotic and my dad was fortunate enough to catch it in this early stage. If he'd had this appointment a few days later, the rash may have already disappeared and he may have gone months until a proper diagnosis was made. I shudder to think what could've resulted. If his symptoms were so dramatic at this stage - I don't want to know what could've happened had he waited.

So, my message to you is this: take precautions to protect yourself from tics, check yourself when you have been outdoors, and investigate any unusual symptoms - regardless of how bizarre they may seem - and do not hesitate!!

Basic Communication

Recently, it has been brought home to me, once again, just how important it is to ask the right questions. Sometimes it seems we focus solely on getting the information, and formulating the solution. But how easily we can be misled by the results if we neglect to ask the right questions.

Asking effective questions is actually an art that we can develop and forms the basis for truly effective communication. Tony Robbins, the motivational expert, says that thinking is actually a process of asking and answering questions. Think about that. It's true! You are constantly asking yourself questions and answering them. The quality of your questions, determines the quality of the answers.

Jesus was a master at this skill.
He asked the woman at the well - "Where is your husband?" (John 4:16);
He asked His disciples, "Who do you say I am?" (Luke 9:20); and
"Who is the faithful and wise servant?" (Matthew 24:45);
He asked the crowd, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" (Mark 3:33);
He asked His disciples, "Who touched My clothes?" (Mark 5:30); and
"Whose portrait is on this coin?" (Matthew 22:21; and
He asked the Pharisees, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts?" (Luke 5:21).

He never failed to ask the penetrating question that cut through all the fluff and pierced directly to the heart of the matter. As a biblical health coach, I have learned to ask my clients clear, focused, open-ended questions that require an honest, thoughtful response. I am learning to do the same thing with the questions and answers I engage in within myself. If I want a higher quality response, I have to train myself to ask a higher quality question.

How often do we find ourselves circling issues? Not wanting to offend someone, or make them uncomfortable, we go 'round and 'round, never coming close to dealing with the real issue. What a waste of time! In the name of being polite, inoffensive and "politically correct" we skirt the meat and potatoes and deal instead with non-essentials. Especially if you are like me and do not like conflict and confrontation, this can be a real pitfall.

In health, it can mean the difference between life and death, between healing and sickness. I can relate this to something that happened to my father. He felt ill during the night and called the doctor the next morning. Upon seeing the doctor he explained that "he had trouble going to the bathroom during the night." The doctor understood that to mean he had a bladder infection and prescribed an antibiotic. Unfortunately, what my dad actually meant (but did not explain) was that he couldn't get out of bed quickly enough because he felt weak and drained and almost didn't get to the bathroom on time. As a result, he was not being treated for the actual cause of the problem; the antibiotic caused side-effects that took months to reverse; and until he was properly diagnosed, the root of the problem remained.

As a parent I have learned to take the unpopular stand and speak the truth in love, even when it means my children will not "like" me very much for a time. When they present something they would like to do, asking the kind of pointed questions that bring to light all the facts, makes it possible to make the right decision.

I can actually tell when I am asking myself weak, ineffective questions. How? My answers are self-serving, lazy and unfocused. It shows unmistakably in my attitudes and follows in my actions.

So, let's make a conscious effort to formulate really effective, focused and specific questions - whether we are speaking to someone else or within ourselves. It's the first and most important step to really communicating in a way that makes a difference!

One More Job Description

If you're a wife and mom, just add "gatekeeper" to your list of titles and job descriptions. So what is a gatekeeper? My Thesaurus lists sentry, monitor, guard, watchman and custodian as synonyms. (I don't know about you, but "custodian" is the one I immediately related to considering all the messes I clean in a day!)

We are definitely called to protect our children's safety - what friends they associate with, where we allow them to go; tv shows and movies we allow them to watch; making sure they're dressed appropriately and have the tools they need to succeed in life. (We pretty much do the same for our husbands when you think about it!)

A very critical aspect of our job as family gatekeepers is to filter the foods we allow into our homes. Our children in particular rely on us to be role models of good health by "walking the talk." We can't tell them they cannot drink soda and then down a half liter. We lose valuable credibility. A good rule of thumb for gatekeepers is - Don't ask them to do anything you are not already doing.

Another aspect of this position is to educate ourselves on natural health and nutrition so that we can make truly informed and wise decisions for ourselves and our families. Finally, we have to be the final word as to what we allow into our homes. This applies to screening out junk food, processed (fake) food, artificial sweeteners and any other substance that compromises, or out and out damages health. The mantra must be: If God didn't make it, we are not to put it in our bodies.

You are also the sentry, so to speak, of what is allowed in the environment of your home. If you allow fear, worry, anger, resentment, guilt, jealousy, greed and selfishness to come in, they will take over and pollute the entire atmosphere of your home. You have to strenuously guard the attitudes and spirits allowed to enter.

Speaking scriptures over your family as you move through your home is a great and powerful way. We set boundaries in our lives with our mouths. So this is a very easy and effective way to do just that. This will set great things in motion especially if you do it on a regular basis.

Playing praise and worship music or scripture CDs throughout the house is another great way. Blessing each room, window and door is another powerful way. I do this every New Year's Day. I anoint each window and doorpost, as well as the beds, tables and desks in the rooms, with oil and plead the Blood of Jesus over them declaring that nothing can enter that does not first pass through the Blood. If God allows it, He will use it for our good!

So fellow gatekeeper, carry on! You may not be recognized or fully appreciated for fulfilling your gatekeeping duties. But never doubt that God knows, and He is pleased with your efforts.