Where Do You Stand?

Position is paramount in importance. I don't mean social position or even financial position. Those are superficial indicators at best. Really knowing who you are brings enormous power and peace.

For example, when my daughter, Elizabeth, was a toddler, my husband owned a restaurant. While she was very well-behaved, she just knew her daddy owned the place and she walked in with a toddler-sized attitude of authority. Without a moment's hesitation, she'd go behind the counter and even back into the kitchen to find her daddy and get a cookie. She never did this anywhere else. However, she was the owner's daughter, and even at her tender age, knowing this filled her with assurance. She had no doubt that she had every right to go in the back and find her father and get whatever she needed. She knew where she stood.

Not too many of us fully comprehend the privileged position we have in Jesus. How awesome to realize that because of Him, you are a child of God. He is your "Dad," the King, so that makes you a son or daughter of the King - a prince or princess. You are royalty. Get hold of this truth, and it will revolutionize not only your self-image, but your entire life. You can approach His throne in prayer with the same boldness and confidence Elizabeth demonstrated in seeking out her daddy.

There is incredible power in knowing where you stand. If you're on the altar directly to the left of the bride, you have the esteemed position of maid or matron of honor. You get to ride in the limo and sit at the head table. If your desk is in the very front of the classroom, you're the teacher and not one of the students. You get to make up the tests, not study for them and sweat over the answers. The maid of honor would look pretty foolish if she went around to all the wedding guests asking if anyone could give her a lift to the reception, when the limo was parked at the curb waiting for her.

We must look just as foolish to God when we hover at the very fringes of His Presence timidly attempting to approach Him, when we have every right to boldly walk up to Him, jump into His lap and pour out our hearts. You dishonor Him when you behave as if you were a second class citizen in His kingdom instead of a first generation, much loved child of the Most High. You have unlimited, unrestricted access to Him at all times and you insult His reputation when you act as if you don't, or as if He doesn't care about you.

Once the truth of this saturates your spirit and soul, it can't help but radiate from your very being in all you say and do. It has the power to forever change you from a cringing, panicky mess into the dynamic, dauntless prince or princess you actually are. You are a representative of your Father, the King. He desires for you to take full advantage of your rights and privileges. he never intended for you to scrape and scrounge for crumbs. No! He created you to be an instrument of His love, power and mercy to a world that hasn't yet met Him face-to-face.
Understand and believe that you carry within you, wherever you go, the power of the King of the Universe, and you'll never want to dishonor or disappoint Him. Consequently, people will be drawn to Him because of the peace and assurance they sense in you. It all hinges on your position.

Now, I ask you again, where do you stand?

Now!

I've been trying to be more mindful - aware of and being really present each moment of my day. I've actually found it to be quite an effort because I've been realizing how much of the time I am doing one thing but thinking about the next task on the list instead of fully focusing on that thing I'm doing. The same is true of conversations. Instead of really listening to what is being said, many times I find myself busy formulating my response - before they've even finished their thought!

In making the effort to remain focused moment by moment a thought occurred to me. Faith is actually a kind of mindfulness. Think about it. Hebrews 11:1 tells us NOW faith is. Faith necessarily requires that we believe we receive what we ask for - now. Faith says: I have it NOW. Faith is present tense - not future and not past. God Himself says, I AM. Not I was or I will be. He is right here, right now. Time as we know it doesn't exist for Him. He sees the end from the beginning and calls us to do the same thing.

Now is all we really have. We can put something off into the future and say we'll do or have it "tomorrow." But there is no tomorrow because every day becomes today! There's certainly no harm in planning for the future, setting goals. Those are actually very good things that give our lives structure.

I just think rather than focusing my energies on why something failed (looking back) or constantly reaching for what may happen someday (looking ahead), I am better served by simply being fully present right here where I am, right now. Perhaps that's what "walking by faith" means. I don't have to "see" what I am believing for. I don't have to see the change. Before any perceptible change happens in the natural, physical world, I count it done and go on!

Now. That's faith.

For Such a Time As This!

As I was driving recently the scripture from Esther came to my mind: 4:14 "...who can say but that you have been elevated to the palace for just such a time as this?" Of course that was Esther's uncle Mordecai telling her that God may have allowed her to become Queen specifically because He knew that she would be in the perfect position to save her people from destruction.

It occurred to me that it's true of every one of us! No, we are not all in positions of royalty or power. We are not all called to save an entire nation from destruction. But we have all been placed here on this earth, in the specific place we live, and at this particular time because we are meant to impact our little part of the world and the people we love and live with and come in contact with on a daily basis!

I know some people think they're just a secretary or just a mom or just a teacher. There is no "just" about it! God doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't do anything without purpose. His thoughts are always higher than ours and He knows the end from the beginning so He always knows best!

I think the key here is to be mindful. Pay attention to the people around you and the opportunities God places before you to be a blessing in some way. Maybe just your smiling face and genuine greeting this morning may change a person's whole day! Your positive attitude and excellent work ethic may just change the entire atmosphere at your job.

Maybe you are in a particular job at this particular time because you are meant to interact with a specific person - either for their benefit or for yours! I worked for a law firm years ago and my boss was a very difficult man. I remember leaving work more often than not with my stomach in knots and my head throbbing. More than once I felt like I had to just leave that job even though I really loved the people I worked with and made some lifelong friends. I put feelers out for another position and doors remained closed so I took that to mean I was to stay put.

I was asked by one of the other girls in the office to be in her wedding party. I was paired with her brother-in-law, whom I have been happily married to for 26 years! Had I left, perhaps I would not have been able to accept her invitation to be in her wedding party and would not have met my husband. God has us strategically placed - I believe that!

So if you are unhappy where you are or if you feel what you are doing is unimportant and are waiting for something better - change your outlook. Nothing is unimportant and everyone has a purpose. God has a plan for each of us. It's up to us to be sensitive to His leading and make the most of where we are right now.

That's basic.

Affectionate Care

I was blessed to be able to spend a week with my oldest son, who came home for a few days off. We walked the Newburgh-Beacon bridge together, staying in shape and also discussing websites and writing and other things he and I particularly have in common. It was such a wonderful time and I enjoyed every minute I was able to spend with him. I really appreciate that a 24 year old young man would spend a few of his vacation days at home with his family. That is not something you hear too often and I know just how fortunate his dad and I are that our kids enjoy being here.

We went to the Middletown Galleria on Labor Day as Chris had several gift cards he wanted to use to purchase some clothes for work. We enjoyed walking around and looking at the sales. He found several beautiful sweaters that were on sale for 50% off and after trying them on went to pay. I decided to wait out in the mall while he did. It was taking an awfully long time as he was the only one at the cash register when I left him there so I went in to see what was taking so long.

Evidently there was a problem with the gift card. As it was issued by American Express as a reward for money he'd already spent, the manager was on the phone with AE to get it straightened out. After another 15 minutes or so Chris came out with his sweaters. I asked what happened and he explained that the representative on the phone insisted on speaking directly to him and admitted that it was a problem on their end with the card but refused to authorize Chris's purchase, instead saying he would send him another gift card. Chris explained that this was unacceptable since this was a sale and a card sent to his apartment wouldn't help him today. The person didn't get it and refused to authorize the purchase. Chris was prepared to tell the manager that since that was the case he could not purchase the sweaters. But she told him she'd take care of it and he walked out with the sweaters and another $50 gift card being mailed to his apartment.

Later that day we walked the bridge and he made such a wonderful comment to me. He said that in the scheme of things, the sweaters on sale and gift card problem was such a small, unimportant thing - and if God cared about his getting the sweaters and another card, he knew God was on top of the really important things going on in his life like his career and job!

What a wise and insightful young man! I immediately agreed wholeheartedly and 1 Peter 5:7 in the Amplified came to mind: Casting the whole of your care (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

It brought that scripture to life for me in a very real way as I could imagine our loving Heavenly Father saying, "I know how hard Chris works and he is such a good steward of his resources - I want him to have these sweaters."

That may sound silly to you - but it is so getting back to basics - God is good - all the time - and He cares about everything that concerns me - even what others might consider unimportant. If it's important at all to me - it's important to Him!

Speaking the Truth

We are told to speak the truth in love to each other (Ephesians 4:15). But where do you draw the line between being honest with someone and just sympathizing with them to make them feel better? While I try always to be mindful of not offending anyone or being harsh or hurtful, this is a difficult thing for me.

If you are like me and always want to leave people feeling better than when they met you, this can sometimes be a very difficult choice to make. Would it really matter? So what if you just "yes" them - agree and sympathize? How could it hurt anything? Besides you come off as the good guy - they get stroked and you look like a saint.

If you really care about the person - it's simply not an option. As parents, we are called on to do it continually. You probably have no problem whatsoever telling your child they cannot play in the street or pretend to cook with a real knife; or telling your teen they must be home by 9 pm or cannot go to a particular place because it is not safe. Pretty simple, straightforward and clear cut. So why is it so difficult to tell a friend a truth about something?

Well, part of it, I think is not wanting to hurt someone who is already hurting, but part is selfish - you don't want them to dislike you. Come on, admit it - you want to be liked. Period. We all do. But when you remove that desire from the equation and focus solely on the "truth" of the issue being discussed, it becomes a little easier.

I recently had to make this decision during a conversation with a friend who is experiencing serious family issues as well as health problems. She calls fairly often to tell me what's been happening. I realized that these calls were not only emotionally draining to me but nothing was changing. I was hearing the same story - just a different day - for years! I realized this command to speak the truth in love was one I was not obeying. I finally had to say that these calls simply rehashing and complaining about the situation were accomplishing nothing. She had repeatedly asked for suggestions on making some decisions and I shared what I thought. But she never did anything - except complain and sink deeper into the role of victim.

It was a painful conversation. I had to be honest and say what I felt she needed to hear. I apologized if I hurt her feelings but I couldn't have this same conversation myriad times for another ten years. Nothing will change unless someone takes a step. I pray fervently for her but she has not called since that last conversation. Perhaps she has found someone else to provide the sympathy she craves. Honestly I hope she really takes to heart what I said and is trying to make some progress. Regardless, I feel better that I didn't just tell her what she wanted to hear and leave her in the same condition.

This is definitely a basic - truth. We can't deal with any situation unless we get to the truth of the matter and deal with it. Nothing will change. Sometimes we have to be the agent of change in someone else's life. Be courageous - speak the truth, in love, and trust God to do the rest.

KISS

Keep it simple, sweetheart! That’s a catchy phrase and acronym. There’s a lot of truth contained there. We love to be complicated – it makes us feel we are somehow more sophisticated, smarter. We want to impress with our knowledge. Most of us can take the most straight-forward, simple thing and complicate it beyond understanding. And think we’ve done a good thing!

The very best and most important things in life are actually very simple. But when something sounds too “easy” we have a hard time believing it. For instance, take God’s plan of salvation. It is straight-forward and simple. Nothing complicated about it. God’s ways are simple and clear-cut. Most times our ways are convoluted and confusing.

Rather than making everything in life more complicated than it needs to be, I believe we should embrace becoming simple people. That description tends to have a negative connotation – people don’t want to be considered “simple-minded” but being simple is something entirely different. If you don’t like that term, how about being uncomplicated?

According to the dictionary definition, simple means, among other things: To be free from guile, innocent; free from ostentation or display ; sheer, unmixed; readily understood or performed. It is the opposite of complex or complicated.

Another definition for simple is “single.” When you have a single thing – there’s no question about it, no decision to make – it stands alone. The Bible tells us to be single-minded. Actually what the scripture tells us is that a double-minded man who constantly wavers and changes his mind every five minutes, will not receive anything from God. In another verse we are told to let our yes be yes and our no be no. Don’t complicate it! Say what you mean and mean what you say. God also tells us to keep our eye “single” in one translation. To me that says focus. Get to the heart of the matter and don’t complicate it with a lot of unnecessary information.

All the very best things in life are inherently simple. I don’t know about you but I want to be an uncomplicated person whose words are clear and sincere. I want people to know where I stand without question. I want my actions to match my beliefs. Simple. Not always easy but simple. I guess the bottom line is I want to imitate my Heavenly Father and KISS.

Are You Just Fooling Yourself?

It tends to amaze me how many people live their lives as if there are no consequences to their actions. You know what I mean - they overeat and yet are shocked that they are overweight; they eat a diet of processed, junk, fast "food" (and I use the term loosely!) and find it surprising that they have no energy or now have developed diabetes or some other illness; they never move their bodies except to change positions on the couch and are amazed that their clothes are tight and they barely have the energy to walk a block; or they smoke or drink and find it hard to understand why they are not healthy.

We are not stupid, yet we persist in fooling ourselves in this crazy way. The Bible puts it this way:

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. (Galatians 6:7)

Pretty clear. You may think you are fooling yourself and maybe in some way you are - simply because you choose to. But you are not fooling God. He created you and your body. He knows exactly how it works and how it will respond to what you do. It's your choice whether to care for it intelligently or to abuse it. And if you choose to abuse it, you take full responsibility for the result - whether you acknowledge what you're doing or not. It's a spiritual and a physical law.

Every action has a corresponding reaction. You eat fresh, whole foods and you nourish and fuel your body down to your cells. You eat junk and you simply put calories in that cause you to gain weight and starve your body down to the cells. You can become an obese person suffering from malnutrition!

Don't fool yourself. Be honest about what you are doing and why. Make choices that benefit you and get you back to basic health. Whatever you sow you will reap - either the rewards or the consequences - it's your choice.

Key to Long (Good) Life

In getting back to basics, for me, simplicity is key. There are thousands of websites with just as many different, new formulas for getting and staying healthy, fit, thin, younger and on and on! Information changes daily. So who do you believe?

For me the Source of all wisdom, God, is where I begin and end. For instance, researchers will tell you coffee is good for you one day and that you should avoid it like the plague the next. So, which is true? Is meat bad for you or not? Should you only eat vegetables? Chocolate is bad or is it a health food? You get my drift.

Proverbs 9:11 says, "For by me (wisdom) your days will be multiplied and years of life will be added to you."

I have based my life, as well as the principles I suggest to clients to improve their health, on God's unchanging and unfailing wisdom. I dare say if we would consistently act on his Word, our health would improve so dramatically, people will begin to ask what our secret is.

Take just one of His commands - to forgive. If we would consistently follow through on just this one command, most of our health problems would cease to exist. Negative, toxic thoughts translate into physical disease and disability. Our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs so powerfully impact our physical and mental health that simply obeying this one command would make all the difference in the world.

So next time you become overwhelmed with information overload - get back to basic health - turn to God's wisdom and see what He says about it. You absolutely can't go wrong.

More Than Just Colors in the Sky

Have you been feeling a little down on yourself lately? Like ordinary just doesn't even begin to describe how you see yourself? Feeling like you just are not doing anything well enough? I think we all feel that way at times. At least I will admit I do. I want to share something with you that I am hoping will encourage you and make you realize there is Someone who thinks you are the greatest - so much so He went out of His way to show you. But you might have never even realized it! Did you know:

No two people see the same one, even if they’re standing next to each other. In fact, each of your eyes sees its own. However, catch one on film, and it can be seen by many eyes at once. You cannot touch one and it is always in front of you while your back is to the sun.

Have you guessed what it is? It is a phenomenon of nature that’s fascinated people forever. Of course, I’m talking about rainbows. Have you ever spotted one of these colorful surprises decorating the sky and felt it was a special gift God created just for you? I know I have. All my life rainbows have fascinated me. I love the variety, the grace and beauty. Each one is unique and breathtakingly beautiful in its own way.

We all know that rainbows are round bands of color that appear in the sky after a rainstorm when raindrops are lit up by sunlight. Even though sunlight looks white, it contains all the colors of the rainbow: violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red.

But do you know why no two people ever see exactly the same rainbow? This fact delighted and amazed me. If you and a friend stand side-by-side looking at a rainbow stretched across the sky, you are at the center of the rainbow you see. Your friend is at the center of a completely different rainbow with an entirely different set of raindrops. Each of you gets to see your very own, personal rainbow! Isn’t that like our God?

When I thought about it, I am rarely the one who spots a rainbow first. Usually it is my children. As I considered this, I realized my children were in a constant state of expectancy. Whether they spotted a rainbow arched across the sky, a hummingbird sipping nectar from one of our Rose of Sharon or the first lemony daffodil poking up through the soil, they were always ready for the blessing. It didn’t surprise them as much as it thrilled and charmed them. In their innocent confidence they simply believe these wonders of nature were created just for them. Somewhere along the way, I seemed to have lost that sense of expectancy, and that confidence that there were blessings out there just for me. It made me wonder how many times a rainbow was majestically arched right over my head and I never even saw it.

I realized I’d allowed myself to become preoccupied with the mundane details of everyday living. While there are certain things that must be attended to, it was my attitude that needed adjusting. I’d stopped expecting to spot a rainbow. I’d forgotten to simply look up. What an elementary principle that is! It applies to all of life: where you focus determines what you find.

Living in a state of expectancy. God clearly tells us that this is how we are to live in Luke 21:28. I realized I’d neglected this truth. If you’re looking for an argument, you will undoubtedly find one. If peace is what you are seeking, you will be rewarded. If you’re looking for fun, it won’t be long before you’re laughing. If you’re always determined to find what is wrong, you’ll soon end up depressed and disappointed. If you’ve decided to find the good in everyone, your days will be filled with light. If you’re looking for a blessing, God will never disappoint you.

I was so focused on the earthly, I’d forgotten to be like a little child and look up expecting to see a rainbow. Once I learned that God creates a unique, personal rainbow for each person who will look for it, I made an attitude adjustment. God not only makes each flower, fish, snowflake and person special and unique, He even creates a rainbow just for each and every one of us. All we need to do is expect to see one and take the time to look up. After all, if He thinks you deserve one, who are you to disagree?

So if it’s weeds and worms you’re looking for, keep your gaze glued to the ground. But if it’s rainbows you seek, take a lesson from a little child and look up!

Always Awake

I've been reading some very interesting research on the brain. Our brain is the command post of our bodies. I heard one Christian doctor compare the brain to God. He said the brain controls the body as God controls the heavens and earth. I have to agree. One very critical element many of us are deficient in is sleep. And the brain and body absolutely must have adequate sleep in order to function properly.

We can all agree to that, I'm sure. I know if I don't sleep well for a few days in a row, not only do I lack energy, but I find I just cannot think clearly. Did you ever wonder why your thinking is so dramatically affected?

Your brain never really stops working! If it did, you wouldn't wake up. Your brain is busy orchestrating your body's maintenance processes. Dead and aging cells are replaced, muscles, tissues and organs are repaired and renewed, hormones and important immune-boosting chemicals are released. That's also why you are so much more susceptible to getting sick when you haven't slept well for a few nights. Your immune system is compromised.

It also takes any information you learned that day and consolidates it and makes it possible for you not only to remember it but to understand it more clearly. You actually lose about 30% of what you learn on any given day and up to two days earlier without adequate sleep. A study was done on birds and a specific part of their brains replayed songs they learned during the day while they slept. It seems even they depend on sleep for a sharp, well-functioning memory!

In comparing the brain to God, it reminded me of Psalm 121:3, 4 "He will not let your foot slip; He Who watches over you will not slumber; indeed He Who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." I don't know about you, but that is very comforting to me. It doesn't matter what time of night or day - He is aware of me and my needs.

Your brain is created in such a way that certain functions only occur when you are asleep. So, technically, your brain is not sleeping, but when your body slows down and relaxes into refreshing, deep sleep, certain areas of your brain activate those important maintenance functions that are not activated when you are awake.

So one of the absolute basics for real health, is to be sure to get adequate sleep every night. Your body needs it and you will be allowing your brain to do what it was created to do for you. No matter what is keeping you up and preventing you from sleeping, remember, God is already up - let Him handle it. You know He will do a much better job anyway!

Are You Smarter Than a Three-Year-Old?

Knowing your true identity is a fundamental part of getting back to basic health. In the most obvious way, unless you know your family history you are at a disadvantage as to dealing with possible hereditary health problems. Knowledge is power. Knowing your true spiritual identity is critical to health and wholeness. You are a one-of-a-kind, unique, priceless Designer original! God doesn't create any inferior "junk" or cheap knock-offs.

So what difference does it make to know how God sees you? The way God sees you is your true identity. When you are grounded in that identity, it affects how you approach people and situations. You don't approach them with a distorted perspective. What's a distorted perspective? That's when you constantly tell yourself - I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I can't do anything right, no one likes me, I'll never succeed, this will never work out. Those are distorted thinking patterns. They come from a distorted identity.

Your identity affects how you approach God and how you pray as well. Even though He sees you clearly, if your perspective is skewed and you see yourself through a very distorted lens, you will not approach Him confidently as we are instructed to in the Bible (Hebrews 4:16). If you feel unworthy and inadequate and hesitate to come to God boldly, confidently, knowing He loves you and watches for your arrival daily, you need to work on your identity. Here's a little story to illustrate:

When my daughter Elizabeth was three, my husband and brother owned a restaurant near our house. After dropping her two older brothers off at school, we would go and visit her dad and Uncle Georgie. It didn't matter how many people were in the restaurant, how busy they were or what was going on. Elizabeth would walk in and if she didn't see her dad on the front line, she never hesitated for a moment to walk behind the front counter and into the office in the back to find him. It never occurred to her that she shouldn't do that or she didn't have the right to be back there. After all this was her Dad's place and she had no doubt about who she was or what her privileges were!

Shouldn't we all approach our Heavenly Father the same way? Shouldn't our prayers be bold and confident and full of expectation? Elizabeth never doubted that her dad would be happy to see her. The thought that he would not give her something to eat if she asked for it never crossed her mind. If she walked in there expecting a piece of cornbread, that is exactly what she got. She approached him in total faith and he never disappointed her.

That's exactly how we should approach our Heavenly Father - enthusiastically, full of confidence, boldly and expecting to receive what we ask for. Why? Because He loves us and His greatest desire is to bless us. If we, as human parents treat our children this way, why would we think He would do any less? Sometimes we have to get back to the basics and let a little child lead us. That's one reason why I wrote my book, "The King's Daughter". I am not ashamed to tell you I have probably learned so much more from my children than they ever learned from me!

So, get back to the basics - let God show you in His Word how He sees you and then correct your vision - align your perspective to His. You'll find it makes everything else in life so much better.

On Purpose

Every single one of us was born with a specific purpose we are to fulfill with our lives. We have all the gifts and talents we need to do it and as we trust God and step out in faith, one step at a time, we receive the wisdom we need and God brings the right people and opportunities before us. Of course, we must be operating in faith - believing He is doing so.

Each purpose is a little different, yet there is one basic underlying purpose for each of us as Christians. For example, if you are a doctor your purpose is to heal people. If you are a teacher you are to inspire a thirst and love for learning. If you are a husband, you are to protect and provide for your wife and family. If you are a wife, you are to support and encourage your husband. If you are a mother, raising stable, secure, successful children who know, love and live for God is your purpose. You get the idea.

As a Christian, the foundation of the Christian life for each of us is to know, love, honor and glorify God with our lives. There's a specific part of that purpose I want to focus on. We carry the very power and presence of God's Holy Spirit within us. We have the ability and the responsibility to carry His love, grace, mercy and blessing with us into each and every situation we encounter.

We are to represent Him, be imitators of Him and be His ambassadors to our world. Every person we meet, every situation and circumstance we are faced with should be improved simply because they encountered God in us! To me, that is an awesome thought. I can inspire real hope and encouragement by sharing my faith. I can offer real, practical comfort and support to someone who is frightened, discouraged or facing difficulties.

My goal each day is to sow good seed into someone's life; to improve a situation or circumstance simply by my presence and prayers. My determined purpose is that no matter where I go today, who crosses my path or what I do - I will prayerfully bring blessing and the situation will improve or the person will be encouraged and lifted up. That is my basic purpose for each day - everything else flows from that. How about you? What are you doing - on purpose?

Move in Your Moment!

I have a question for you - how are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions? By now, most people have totally given up on them. I've seen all the suggestions to set goals instead of making resolutions - make them specific - measurable - give them a time frame. Truthfully, while setting goals is definitely important and something I do, I don't think that's the answer in this case.

I think, with both resolutions and goals, we get excited and set these huge, extravagant goals. You know - lose 50 lbs by March, start a new business, begin making an extra $5,000 a month, find my soulmate. While I believe we should "think big" and set goals that stretch us - we forget that no one takes one big step and reaches their goal. The road to fulfilling any goal - whether it's improving health, finances or relationships - is paved with a series of well-thought-out, concrete, smaller steps.

I like to call them "baby steps." Not one of us begins to teach our child to walk and gets impatient and disgusted if they take one or two teetering little steps and then fall. No, we celebrate and cheer them on and when they take three little, tiny steps the next time - we are thrilled that they made progress! Why are we so hard on ourselves?

The Bible tells us in Zechariah 4:10 we are "not to despise the day of small beginnings." That's really good advice. In order to achieve any goal or fulfill any resolution, we have to schedule a series of baby steps. But that's just the beginning. Then we are to celebrate each time we make progress - no matter how small. This creates momentum. I heard one teacher describe momentum as "moving in your moment." I like that!

Every day we have 1,440 minutes to use. We all have the same amount of time. Each one of those minutes is yours to move in. You can move forward, backward or stand still. The choice is yours. To my way of thinking, even moving a half-step forward toward the fulfillment of your goal is preferable to either of the other two alternatives!

So, instead of punishing yourself for not making more progress - congratulate yourself on the forward movement you have made in your particular moment. Don't despise them if they are small. Instead of focusing so much on the size, focus on the direction.

Go back to your New Year's Resolutions or goals - it's not too late - really, it's almost never too late! Break them down into baby steps and see how much progress you have already made! Let me know so I can celebrate with you. This is your year to move in your moment!

In the Mood for Food!

I was reading through some teaching notes I'd taken while listening to a bible teacher on TBN years ago named Aiko Hormann. She was a lovely Asian woman who at the time was in her 60's. However, she didn't look a day over 40. She had such a peace and serenity about her. She was a scientist and I took copious notes on her teaching on the connection of our emotions to our physical health, which I found fascinating.

How many times do we sit down to a meal when we've just had an argument or feel angry or stressed? We don't think twice about sitting down in that emotional state and eating. Some of us use food in that instance as a comforter. But those emotions are very powerful and they powerfully affect our digestion and our health. I want to share some of the examples she taught about because they illustrate the need to be aware of our emotions and take control over them.

She explained it is critical to know what state of mind you are in while you eat. When you are angry, stressed or fearful, those emotions cause biochemical changes in your body. Different hormones and chemicals are released into your bloodstream. Those negative emotions stimulate the part of the brain called the amygdala. In fact if you were to be hooked up to a diagnostic machine, that part of your brain would actually be lit up on the screen because those emotions had activated it. The amygdala is directly connected to the stomach. Therefore, any emotion that affects that part of your brain, also affects your digestion.

It certainly makes sense - think how you feel when you are upset and sit down and eat anyway. It feels like you swallowed a rock! Another interesting thing she shared was that when you generate a toxic emotional response by activating your amygdala through fear, anger or anxiety, those chemicals remain in your bloodstream for 72 hours - 3 days - unless you neutralize them.

No wonder God's Word in Proverbs 17:1 tells us: Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. The Message Translation says it this way: A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels. She said a blood sample from an angry person was injected into a guinea pig and it died. She also related a woman who was breastfeeding her child became extremely furious with her husband and breastfed her baby in that emotional state and the baby died. Now, I cannot verify that those examples are literally true, although that is the way she presented them.

A study was done with smokers and non-smokers. Both groups ate the same number of eggs. Cholesterol levels rose rapidly in the smokers because smoking stresses the body and stress will cause cholesterol to rise rapidly regardless of the amount or type of food eaten.

So what to do when you find yourself upset and you just want to sit down and stuff your face? Her suggestion makes sense to me. She related that when people purposely changed their thoughts from anger, fear or anxiety to God's love and goodness, the change in their brain chemistry could be recorded. The amygdala, which had been activated by the negative emotions was switched off. Now the ceptum, which is directly connected to the physical heart, was immediately lit up and began dissipating those emotional toxins. Not only does it neutralize the effects of negative emotions on your digestion, it promotes a healthy heart as well.

It may not be easy to switch off those negative emotions in the moment - but with practice I'm sure it gets easier and easier, just like anything else. The point is to be aware and in control of our emotions instead of the other way around.

Let the Strong Say...

A conversation with a very dear friend last week has had me thinking about a scripture and about strong, Christian women. My friend shared that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will have surgery within a few weeks. She shared how she became aware of a problem just before the holidays but did research and did not want to deal with it until after the new year. At that time she very sensitively and carefully broke the news to her husband, saying that she'd had weeks to get used to the idea, but it was now coming at him out of the blue. She busied herself preparing and freezing meals so he would have them ready while she was in the hospital and recovering and paying the bills and getting all the finances up-to-date since she handles all that.

She, of course, has involved him in every decision and at every step of this journey she finds herself on. She lost her father last March so she and her husband went to tell her mom. She shared how she also personally spoke to her two sisters and each of her nieces and nephews because she wanted them to see she was ok and not to be frightened or to worry. She had originally emailed me with this news, but once we'd "spoken" on line, she called because she also wanted me to hear her voice and know she was handling this as she handled every crisis in her life - with strength, grace, courage and humor.

While I was relieved to hear her voice, I couldn't stop thinking about how she has gone out of her way to make sure she put everyone she cares about at ease, comforting and encouraging them. I can really relate to this as I find myself falling into that very same pattern - I am strong and I have to care for everyone else. Even when it is I who may need some comfort and encouragement.

Joel 3:10 says, "Let the weak say I am strong!" The Message Translation says it this way: "Let the weak one throw out his chest and say, 'I'm tough, I'm a fighter.'" I'm beginning to wonder if some of us strong Christian women have perhaps taken this scripture to an extreme. I've been through a few crises in my life (haven't we all?) and I honestly can remember very few times when I was the one being protected and comforted. Perhaps it's been so long since that happened - I don't even know how to respond to that anymore.

I do remember one turning point conversation. We had just moved to NY from Tennessee with two small children so my husband could start a business with my brother. We were living with my Dad and brother in the house I grew up in. It was difficult living there when my mom was now gone. I was having a down day and one of my aunts called. In the course of our conversation I shared something I was upset about. Her response to me was, "Where is your faith?" I immediately knew at that very moment that I was expected to always be positive and in control, regardless of how I felt. That was a turning point moment for me.

That happened 20 years ago and even now most of the time when friends call it is to share their problems, ask for prayer, advice, comfort or encouragement. I find myself feeling the only one I can truly share my fears, doubts and concerns with is the Lord. Everyone else seems to think I should not feel that way, that somehow I'm "past" that.

As I pondered all this it made me wonder if my friend ever gets weary of always being the strong one, the one in control, the one encouraging and comforting everyone else while she may be crumbling inside. Don't get me wrong, through the death of my mom and my grandmother, losing two babies, closing our business and wondering what we would do next and various other crises of life, the Lord has been more than faithful and never failed to strengthen me and to bring us through.

I honestly don't know what I'd do if I did not have a real and intimate relationship with the Lover of my Soul. However, I have to admit to a purely human desire sometimes. I don't always want to be the take-charge one, the one who says to everyone else falling apart around me - don't worry, it will be fine, God is still on the Throne and He will see us through. While I will always know that in my deepest heart and believe it without question, just once in a while I would love for someone else to say that to me.

I don't really know if that's selfish or not - but I do know it's honest. I find it difficult to take any other part than this because I've been doing it for so long. The few times recently when I've admitted to being unsure about something or concerned about an outcome, the response has been genuine surprise that I could feel that way.

So - to get back to basics I guess I am saying (to you and to myself!) that we are after all just human. Regardless of how deep and strong our faith is, there will be times when we feel weak. That's just a fact of being human. I think maybe sometimes it is healthy and necessary for the strong to sometimes say, I am weak.

Satisfied with Good

I was thinking about how radically my diet has changed over the years. Growing up TV dinners were the new thing and Twinkies and Hostess Cupcakes were standard lunch bag fare. My adorable little Greek grandmother would treat my brother and me with a breakfast of "paporakia" which is the Greek word for little boats. She'd make her cup of coffee with 2 or 3 teaspoons of sugar and lots of heavy cream. Then she would cut the "little boats" from crusty Italian bread, slather them with butter and float them on her coffee before giving this treat to us. Mmmm - I can almost taste them! Sometimes I'm amazed I'm still here and do not doubt for a moment it is only by God's grace.

When I was in my 20's besides going out with the girls several times a week, every Saturday my brother and I (and later my husband completed the trio) would buy a half gallon of ice cream - each - usually Baskin Robbins - Amaretto Cheesecake was my favorite - and gorge ourselves.

As time has passed and I got pregnant and realized the importance of my diet, if for no other reason than to provide the proper nourishment for my babies, I began to gradually improve my diet. Keep in mind that while I never smoked or did drugs and actually took vitamins daily, my understanding of nutrition was woefully lacking.

But God is gracious and as I educated myself, first in order to raise healthy children, and then of course to keep myself and my husband healthy and energetic enough to keep up with those healthy children, I began to look at food differently. I have always been what you might refer to as a "foodie." I love food - love to cook it, bake it, plan meals and serve it. Just love it period. I began to see it as fuel.

My nutritional metamorphosis took me to the carb craze. There was a period of time (in the '80's) when meat, protein and fat were the enemy and pasta and grains and vegetables were king. I was able to eat primarily pasta (and not the whole grain kind either) and vegetables and maintain a healthy weight and stay remarkably healthy. I have always preferred those foods and really didn't much enjoy chicken or burgers or meat. When presented with the choice, I would always choose the pasta dish.

Around the time I turned 40 I noticed that even though I still worked out just as hard, and didn't eat any more, I began putting weight on. Increasing my workout schedule didn't help. I figured it had something to do with hormones and entering the perimenopause phase of life. By this time I had been seriously studying nutrition and natural health and supplements for many years. I realized I had to begin to increase my intake of protein and limit the carbs if I wanted to remain strong, fit and healthy.

Well, I really thought having eggs and lean meat, poultry or fish at every meal was going to be a monumental task. To my great surprise, it was just the opposite! I never realized how delicious eggs were and now prefer them to cereal or a bagel with peanut butter (my old favorite breakfast). I thoroughly enjoy baked chicken and turkey thighs, sardines and wild caught salmon. I can't believe I didn't think I liked those things. Actually I didn't like them. However, by God's grace, He gradually changed my thinking and gave me the desire for these things. I look forward to my meals and enjoy them as much or more than my old way of eating.

I pray Psalm 103:5 this way in thanksgiving to God for not only always knowing best, but also knowing how to get me to see it as well:
Thank You Lord that You satisfy my mouth with good things, not only my necessary food, but the kind of food I desire at my personal age, so my youth is renewed with strength like the eagle's - overcoming and soaring!

And He has - and He can for you too - if you allow Him to.

He Who Hesitates is Lost

I just read an article reporting that Lyme Disease has become epidemic in our country. While it is found in all 50 states and has even been reported in Europe, most diagnoses are made in the Northeast/New England states.

It has become the fastest growing infectious disease in the United States, infecting more people each year than HIV/AIDS. If Lyme Disease is not caught and treated while in the very earliest stages, it is a devastating disease. It not only causes serious physical damage, but causes mental and emotional anguish as well.

Lyme is not easy to diagnose and many people are misdiagnosed so long that by the time they are properly diagnosed, it is too late. The disease progresses to an advanced stage and can then only be managed as it has already begun causing irreparable damage.

I had a personal experience with this disease several years ago. My dad is an avid golfer. At this time he was in his late 70's and quite active and healthy. My youngest son was graduating from high school. We all slid into the bleachers at the football field on a sweltering late June morning. My dad had a hat on and there were buckets of cold, bottled water being circulated, so he stayed hydrated. Once the ceremony was over he went to one of the enclosures to get out of the sun and heat.

Feeling fine, we all went to my home to begin the graduation celebration. I had trays upon trays of food and guests dropped in continuously for the next five or six hours. My dad ate well and enjoyed the conversation and company. When I called him several days later he said he wasn't feeling very well and thought it was something he ate at the party. Concerned, I asked what his symptoms were. They were bizarre to say the least.

He felt weak during the night and actually had trouble getting out of bed quickly enough to get to the bathroom. Then later in the morning he wanted to go out to buy a paper as he usually did. He told me he "couldn't remember how to get in the car." When pressed to explain more fully, he said it took him about 15 minutes to remember how to get himself into the front seat behind the wheel. Then, once he did, he drove to the deli to get his paper and had the same problem returning home.

That really frightened me because it was obviously more than a stomach bug - it was affecting him mentally. He went to his doctor but because he did not explain his symptoms clearly to the doctor (and the doctor did not ask the right questions - see the previous post!), he diagnosed him with a bladder infection and put him on an antibiotic that caused severe side-effects and of course did not do anything about the cause of the problem.

As God would have it, he had an appointment several days later with his dermatologist to check on a past skin cancer. When the doctor began examining him he noticed the tell-tale bullseye rash on the back of his thigh! My dad, of course, never saw it and when he was with me he had long pants on, not shorts, as he did when he went golfing.

That doctor immediately prescribed the correct antibiotic and my dad was fortunate enough to catch it in this early stage. If he'd had this appointment a few days later, the rash may have already disappeared and he may have gone months until a proper diagnosis was made. I shudder to think what could've resulted. If his symptoms were so dramatic at this stage - I don't want to know what could've happened had he waited.

So, my message to you is this: take precautions to protect yourself from tics, check yourself when you have been outdoors, and investigate any unusual symptoms - regardless of how bizarre they may seem - and do not hesitate!!

Basic Communication

Recently, it has been brought home to me, once again, just how important it is to ask the right questions. Sometimes it seems we focus solely on getting the information, and formulating the solution. But how easily we can be misled by the results if we neglect to ask the right questions.

Asking effective questions is actually an art that we can develop and forms the basis for truly effective communication. Tony Robbins, the motivational expert, says that thinking is actually a process of asking and answering questions. Think about that. It's true! You are constantly asking yourself questions and answering them. The quality of your questions, determines the quality of the answers.

Jesus was a master at this skill.
He asked the woman at the well - "Where is your husband?" (John 4:16);
He asked His disciples, "Who do you say I am?" (Luke 9:20); and
"Who is the faithful and wise servant?" (Matthew 24:45);
He asked the crowd, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" (Mark 3:33);
He asked His disciples, "Who touched My clothes?" (Mark 5:30); and
"Whose portrait is on this coin?" (Matthew 22:21; and
He asked the Pharisees, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts?" (Luke 5:21).

He never failed to ask the penetrating question that cut through all the fluff and pierced directly to the heart of the matter. As a biblical health coach, I have learned to ask my clients clear, focused, open-ended questions that require an honest, thoughtful response. I am learning to do the same thing with the questions and answers I engage in within myself. If I want a higher quality response, I have to train myself to ask a higher quality question.

How often do we find ourselves circling issues? Not wanting to offend someone, or make them uncomfortable, we go 'round and 'round, never coming close to dealing with the real issue. What a waste of time! In the name of being polite, inoffensive and "politically correct" we skirt the meat and potatoes and deal instead with non-essentials. Especially if you are like me and do not like conflict and confrontation, this can be a real pitfall.

In health, it can mean the difference between life and death, between healing and sickness. I can relate this to something that happened to my father. He felt ill during the night and called the doctor the next morning. Upon seeing the doctor he explained that "he had trouble going to the bathroom during the night." The doctor understood that to mean he had a bladder infection and prescribed an antibiotic. Unfortunately, what my dad actually meant (but did not explain) was that he couldn't get out of bed quickly enough because he felt weak and drained and almost didn't get to the bathroom on time. As a result, he was not being treated for the actual cause of the problem; the antibiotic caused side-effects that took months to reverse; and until he was properly diagnosed, the root of the problem remained.

As a parent I have learned to take the unpopular stand and speak the truth in love, even when it means my children will not "like" me very much for a time. When they present something they would like to do, asking the kind of pointed questions that bring to light all the facts, makes it possible to make the right decision.

I can actually tell when I am asking myself weak, ineffective questions. How? My answers are self-serving, lazy and unfocused. It shows unmistakably in my attitudes and follows in my actions.

So, let's make a conscious effort to formulate really effective, focused and specific questions - whether we are speaking to someone else or within ourselves. It's the first and most important step to really communicating in a way that makes a difference!